Quickly

I have a few extra minutes this morning before I run to class and such all day but I wanted to sit down and write about my last couple of days.

On Friday, Jen Mall came to see me!! I am not going to focus on the fact that it took her 18 months of me being at school but... I kid I kid. Anyways, it was a really fun day. I hardly ever see her without my sisters or her kids anymore so I loved just getting to talk all day. However, we both struggled to finish sentences and thoughts. I blame it on overstimulation in public. It's probably just that I'm not focused enough or lazy or something... =)

I also had semi formal for my sorority Friday night. My beautiful roommate lovingly let me borrow a great dress of hers and it was a fun(ish) night. I still think stuff like that would be more fun without dates. Less pressure. Less awkward. Less lame.

Saturday- Collin drove to Waco! And I was tired. And we drove home. After me making him help me run my errands. I think I need to devote an entire post to my love of redbox dvd rentals. We'll see. But it was really fun to drive home with Collin. We drive home around the same time a lot but we've never ridden together. Lots of fun. We got home in time to let him get a haircut and me get a quick manicure. Not the best mani I've ever had but totally worth the 7 bucks and about 11 minutes. We changed and got ready for the wedding (did I mention we came home for a wedding?... we came home to attend a wedding in Dallas). Col and I met up with his roommates from College Station and their girlfriends ( I guess technically we were dates for the evening) and headed to Dallas. I had such a good time. The service was beautiful and the reception was a blast. Weddings are awesome parties. I am so thankful this family was generous enough to invite Collin and his friends and that they got to bring us! I had so much fun laughing with Anni and getting to spend time with Collin that wasn't the same old thing.

I might put some pictures up next time of the Dallas skyline we took Saturday night. It was really cool. I got back yesterday afternoon after church and pizza with my precious family. I am thankful I live so close to home on weekends like this. It is a semi crazy week but it is even crazier to think the semester is over in 5 weeks. oi.

That is all for today. Except download By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North. Ok that is for real all.

NEW BLOGGG

Ok- in an attempt to make myself wanna blog more- I changed it up!

I will probably tweak it a lot. But I loved my quote my Donald Miller (It is always the simple things...) but it was kinda dragging me down blog wise.

And the beautiful tree picture comes from http://www.graphic-exchange.com/06photo.htm

And I start too many sentences with and. I also overuse hyphens. I am plagued with excessive hyphens....

Anyways, that is all.

Sunflowers....

Today is a cloudy day. It is a rainy day. Now usually, I love the rain. I love the way it smells. I love the way the sounds. I love how life seems to slow down when it rains.

But, in the past couple of days, I've felt like my mood has been directly related to the weather (how transcendentalist of me... I know). As soon as it starts sprinkling, I get mopey. I let my cares and worries start piling up at the forefront of my mind.

But today, as I listen to rain fall from Heaven, I found this picture on my computer. Collin sent me these sunflowers a few weeks ago. They make me smile to remember how excited I was. I'm so not a rose girl, unless they're yellow (picking up a theme??). They were huge sunflowers that bloomed for quite a few days. I got so much joy out of them that I took pictures. For moments exactly like this. When I forget that the sun will return,that my future is secure.

They helped remind me that life is beautiful....

Oh spring break - how I love you. Nothing much happened and it was wonderful.

I'll write more later but right now I spell like disgusting tanningness and wanna go shower and watch a movie (since ya know, it's always freezing and raining on spring break around here). Next year- I'm going somewhere warm. and sandy.

Also, I saw this in a magazine at some point this week and thought it was interesting.

Oxford's Top Ten Most Overused Phrases
1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

Who gets paid to come up with this? Give me a call. I want in.

Oh hormones, how I hate you. When I get tired or stressed, like most, I get emotional. But mostly, I get mean. I don't want to be around people. I just want to be left alone. I become unbelieveably hard to deal with. I yell. I snap. I argue. I cry.

It's so not pretty.

Or becoming of a girl trying to walk as Jesus did.

And I so easily blame it on my mood or circumstances but I know that is a cop out. What a good excuse though huh? Life can be so trying, so demanding. But it's not ok. It's not right.

I want to be in control of myself better. I need to behave better. It isn't easy but really- no one likes a college kid pitching a fit.

So Collin, assuming you'll read this (ever), I'm sorry. You are too good to me. I don't deserve your niceness and concern for me. Thank you for refusing to let me shut down and give in to my stress and worry. I am grateful.

Everyone have a wonderful Tuesday!

"No story is a straight line. The geometry of a human life is too imperfect and complex, too distorted by the laughter of time..."

I'm sitting in front of my laptop, sniffling back a terrible cold. Maybe it is because my body is uncomfortably sore, my mind a little too tired, my spirit a bit too broken, but I am about to give in to being sick. I want to have an excuse to just sit here and hate life for awhile. I want to be mad about circumstances. I want to whine about people and their stupidity and selfishness.

Mostly- I want to hate this world for its' cruelties. HATE.

I can usually write an entire post about how busy I am , how much is going on, my elbow injury- really important stuff. But not today. Not right now. Not in the middle of all of this.

I have been praying about learning to care for people- to see them as Christ did. Because when I am being totally honest with myself- I want to look like I care more than I actually care. But lately- I have really loved people, really wanted more for people, really trusted, really hurt for people.

I cannot imagine how much our Heavenly Father, creator of the universe, author of my life, perfect love, hurts when He sees our lives. When He sees the flaws, the shortcomings in relationships- does He want to immediately draw us together? When He hears our cries over broken hearts and ruined moments, does He want to fix it all? When God sees sin creep into a life, does He weep?

I know He does. I know it. Our Father wants to rescue us from this corrupt world. He did not create us to live here like this. The damage from The Fall is so evident. We live in wreckage. Notice it around you. How does He feel? I bet He is angry. And scared for us.

Our stories are so messed up. Mine is. My life doesn't make much sense. I don't make a lot of sense without salvation. We all have these enormous chips on our shoulders. We carry around the weight of the past, the heavy burdens from hurts in the past, the worry over what is to come. We struggle under the weight of the world. We are fed lies, making us insecure. We are taught to doubt everyone- to leave when the going gets rough.

But we must stick around. For each other. For ourselves. I need to remember that I was created for a Holy purpose. I am on purpose. We are all living on purpose. That changes everything. His will for my life is grander than I can imagine. He is molding me. He is teaching me to be in this world- but not of it.

I long to be a witness of Christ's love for this horrendous world. But I'm not. Not often enough at least. I too frequently shy away from saying what I should. More often than not- I don't speak truth into the lives of those around me. I want to do better. I will because God does not mess up.


Come ye sinners, poor and needy
weak and wounded, sick and sore.
Jesus ready, stands to save you.
Full of pity, love and power.
i will arise and go to Jesus
He will embrace me in His arms.
and in the arms of my dear Saviour, there are ten thousand charms.
Come ye weary heavy laden, lost and ruined by the fall.
if you tarry until you're better you will never come at all.
I will arise and go to Jesus....