Hope > Quitting

I am so stinking stubborn. I don't shake it off. I don't let it go. I am too wrapped up in all I don't do- not what I can do. I shut down. I don't want to talk. I want to hang up, to walk away. I want to seclude and isolate myself because it seems impossible. The issues are too big. They run too deep. There seems to be no solution. I let myself remember that. I have given up hope in too many ways. How sad.


It is harder than I thought. I allowed all these outside issues to come in. I opened up the floodgates of criticism and haven't found my footing since. You said I had a bad attitude 98% of the time. When did that happen? I was not always that person. You never used to make me this mad. When did that start? What is this? I have not been this anxious or worried in so long. We are not perfect but we are here. This is where we are. Let's get the heck out of this phase please.


We say all the right words. I know what to say to ease your fears and everyone else's. Let's please stop pretending. We are all broken together. We screw up. We fall off. We do things we never ever thought we would. We are changing. Hopefully we are growing. I am chasing so many pipe dreams that I don't even know where I started. I talk in circles. We second guess each other. We say too much. We go too soon. We don't pick up where we left off. We lose faith. We hold strife. We aren't enough.

What is?